How did you get out of your abusive relationship?

My 5 year relationship was physical in the beginning. It went on for about a 4-6 months, and then completely stopped. Then after we moved out of my home state, it turned into verbal abuse. Calling names, telling me I am fat... It was really bad for about a month, and then it dissipated. I have called and cried to my family back home, and they all want me back. They tell me they don't like him, and some of it has nothing to do with the things I have told them, it has been his own actions towards them. We argue and fight, he says things, I say things, but I feel anger has gotten the best of us. He has said things to me in the heat of the argument, and sometimes I will think about it months after the fact. And I know that I am not perfect, but he has said way more hurtful things to me than I have to him. He has admitted to kissing someone in an airport bar when he went out of town... then turned his story around and said the lady was some old fat drunk lady who kissed him as she was getting up to leave, and he didn't even realize it... %26quot;It was just a peck%26quot; he says... but during the heat of the argument, He was saying, %26quot;Some sexy cougar with big breast.......%26quot; I have NEVER cheated on him, or even talked to another man in public like that. I have tried to forgive him and move foward, but I just can't forger these things we have said and done to each other. It is holding me back from trying. I have made plans to go back and be with my family, and I told him this. And he feels like because we had a good weekend, or a good week, I should see that he is changing. I just can't see it. I already have it in my head that he is not the one I guess. But I still love him. He is the center of my world and I am afraid what life will be without him. When I told him I was leaving, he started being really nice, and it makes me think, %26quot;Why am I leaving this nice guy%26quot;.... I am just afraid of what life will be like %26quot;Out there on my own%26quot;....



Has anyone gone through this? To where your guy/girl has good days and bad days, and like you are living with some split personality? Do you or have ever felt like you were going crazy? Have you ever felt like you have lost your identity? I want to go home, but I am just afraid of what I might be giving up here, with him... Can anyone relate?
How did you get out of your abusive relationship?
you should go back home. he's never going to change, he might for a week or two but eventually he'll go back to how he was. things could be worse so it'll be better for you to just walk away now. you're not happy with him so there's no reason to be with him. being alone is better than being with him.
How did you get out of your abusive relationship?
yer i can a little i dumped her
Do what you feel is right and will ultimately bring you happiness.
GOOD GOD GIRL GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP AND FAST!



Go home. It will take a while to adjust but you will find better!



Oh yes, I might add, we get into abusive relationships when we have low self esteem. You have to work on your esteem to feel like you deserve better, trust me, you do deserve better.
Work out how you are going to get back home and when he is away - swing into action.
Okay I have been through a situation very similar to this.. my ex was abusive and controlling and at the time I was a poor college student who could not really make it on my own.. and my parents really weren't there.. and as soon as I graduated I thought I would leave but I guess I was so emotionally attached to him, and scared that I couldn't do it.. So I had to end up joining the military.. basically making a commitment I could not break.. I knew that once I left I would never look back, plus he wasn't the type of guy that would wait anyway. I wouldn't recommend doing exactly what I did it was hard and at times very lonely.. but I would recommend you leaving him.. Trust me there are nice guys out there.. my husband whom I met in the military is so good to me.. we have been married for around 3 years and he has never even yelled or called me a name.. trust me you will be glad you left.
I'm sorry to hear of what your going through :(



This situation is always tough and you feel like you don't know where you are anymore with the person and yes you can feel like your going crazy :P



You threaten to leave then they are nice fore a few weeks and then they always end up being back to the nasty side of them.



One day he might stop believing Your ever going to leave and may only manage to be nice for a day if that. You deserve so much better and you know you wouldn't be giving up some fantastic life if you left.



Relationships like this just go round in circles and usually get worse. It takes it toll on your mental health being with someone who almost changes to another person in those bad days.



Do whats right for you, just remember that if you leave you have the support of your family and one day will find a nice man that does not do these things to you



Good luck!

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