This has finally happened to me,and I have so many people depending on me to always remain strong and be there for them. But,I feel like I'm running on empty and have nothing left to give. I have always been the one my family turned to in times of need,and I've always done my best to help,always setting aside my own needs and emotions for theirs. But now I'm finding myself somewhat resentful of their constant leaning on me,because I feel the need to lean on someone else for a change.
If you have been in a similar situation,do you have any advice for me? How do I replenish myself?
Do you ever feel like the life is being sucked right out of you?
Yes, I understand what you mean. I finally started taking time for myself. I looked back at the things I used to enjoy (and I had to think back quite a ways) and decided to try it again to see if I still enjoyed it. In my case it was community theater. I get out of the house for a little while a few nights a weeks, dust off some underused talents %26amp; interact with people who have no expectations for me to do anything except what I came there to do. And best of all, I get recognition when I've done something well.
Find what you enjoy or sign up for a class to learn something new. Even if it's just once a week, it will be your time where you can leave all other concerns behind and refill your own reserves. I know it may seem like adding something else to do when you already feel stretched too thin, but it can in fact be a great respite.
Also, learn to say no. When you are feeling overwhelmed just say no to the next request - without guilt. I promise the world will not fall apart if you can't be there once in a while. And your family will find new ways to support each other.
Do you ever feel like the life is being sucked right out of you?
Hi,
Sorry to respond so late.
As a mom of two young ones at home, I get to feeling this way some times. My solution has been to take day trips once every week or two. It keeps excitment in our lives. For example, last week we drove to an underground cavern in Virginia and toured.
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Ohhh, poor me. I am so needed. Everyone depends on me, me, me. I'm running on empty, oh poor, poor me. Go hide and cry. I have advice. Whine somewhere else.
Go to Iraq. Bush is blowing the life out of people there..
And what happens if you get sick or worse? Self reliance is important to servival. Choose a day that will cause the least disruption and declare it self reliance day. Everybody fends for themselves. The leave if you have to get them to do for themselves. Do that everyweek. Then expand it till you have a load that you can handle.
yes i have been in similar situations and know of others too.
Firstly sounds like you need a holiday away from everyone!
My advice would be to try and do something for yourself regularly, such as going swimming, join a club, help other people who cant demand of you.
Let everyone know that your joining a club ect. and its something you really want to do. People need to get used to the fact that you will not always be there. But the biggest thing you could do would be to say no sometimes.
It has been written that God does not give you more than you can handle, but it sure feel like he has sometimes, especially when you become a care taker. Getting alone even for a walk and clearing your mind will help. Perhaps meditation. Even Jesus had to get away and find peace. If life becomes resentful, then that is a warning sign to back off and speak up. Sometime people have to learn to take care of themselves. You become an enabler if you continue to bail them out.
You need to Love yourself enough to say whoa.
You just need a break perhaps. Help people help themselves.
These are the only suggestions I have. I was a care taker for 6 years and I survives, but not without scars. I look at it now; I wish I could have done more. Sometimes I would shut down.
Maybe see this as a service to God. That helps me to carry on. With unconditional Love, serving is reward enough. Rev. TomCat
Ah yes, I hear you loud and clear. I refer to these people in my life as human vampires. They suck the life force out of me.
What I have done is to find people who are positive and supportive. There are now more of this type than the vampires.
I learned to say no to draining people, in a gentle manner, and therefore, do not get any hostility back. This was hard for me to do at first, but I eventually learned. Practice makes perfect is indeed true!
