If you have a child(ren), did you think about how your life (personal identity, marriage, finances, other relationships, etc.) would be changed prior to birth? If you have children, do you regret that decision? (Males and Females.) What has been the personal impact on your life and lifestyle?
How many people actively think about why they should or should not have a child? If you chose to have children, do you regret that decision? (Males and females.) Do you regret the decision you made or was it made for you by social expectations?
Before having a child (if you have one) did you think about how your life would change?
I have three chikdren and I am a single mother. Times get really hard, but I never regret having my children. I sometimes think that if I had waited until I was ready in all areas, that they would have a much better life, but when I look at them and they are so happy and they dont care that we cant buy all the new stuff that comes out, I realize that its a good thing I have them. They keep me together and they love me so much and I love them. Its a blessing that I have them because so many other women cant have children. I consider myself blessed everyday to be a mother.
Before having a child (if you have one) did you think about how your life would change?
I don't regret anything. I am now married with a son and another on the way. I did think about how it would affect my life. If I waited until I was really ready I would probably never have kids. I don't think I would ever feel like I was ready enough. I fell in love with my husband and I knew he was the one I wanted to have kids with. I actually feel better about myself now that I'm a wife and soon to be mother of two. Everything else just falls into place...given I make thoughtful and well-planned decisions.
I think that logically everyone knows that their life will change when a child is born, but maybe not realize how much. For me the only thing that I think I didn't realize was how much harder it is to do everyday things like go the grocery store and also to find a babysitter if just my fiance and I want to go out. I kind of thought that wouldn't be too much of a problem seeing as his whole family lives near by, but their a** holes and apparently it's a big inconvenience.
I of course do not regret having my children, not even for one second. They are the lights of my life and I love them more than anything in the whole world. I don't see when it comes to having children how your decision can be made my social expectations. What is it exactly that society expects? If you live any of your life because that's how people want you to then you are going to regret it.
My first child, my daughter was not planned, i was 18 at the time and not with her dad. At the time i thought my life would change dramatically and it did, but for the better.
I use to go out drinking, shopping and basically i was self centered. She was the making of me, I carried on at college, went to university while holding down a job. I got us a nice house of our own and a car. I also met my now fiance and we had a son together(he was planned) and our life is perfect. My little girl is 4 now and i would not change a thing.
I always wanted to be a young mother, at age 21 I gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl. The day I had her I think I was starting to suffer from post partum blues because I didn't want to see her. However since I shared my room with another woman who had just given birth, I heard her baby crying and I thaught that was my baby. I felt so weird and told the nurse that I was ready to see my baby. I coud'nt believe that was my baby and that she was going to be with me the rest of my life. :)
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I have four children. I was 21 when I found out I was pregnant with the 1st. I became a wife and mother less than a year after my husband and I met. I didn't plan it that way, but that's the way it happened. I never had any worries until I found out I was pregnant with my 4th child. He came 7 years after the 3rd one. I was so upset about the whole idea of having to start over from scratch. My biggest worry was finance. My husband and I just filed bankruptcy and could barely take care of ourselves let alone a new addition. I, for a split second, thought about abortion. What changed my mind? My mother told me she had had an abortion and felt a very empty feeling inside. And almost immediately after going through with it she thought if she was able to manage feeding 2 mouths, then she can certainly feed three. By then it was too late and she lived with that regret for the rest of her life until she passed on in 2006. My husband and I are here a year later after my son's birth with no regrets. And deliriously happy with our 4th and last child.
