I鈥檓 in the process of changing my last name, not because I鈥檓 getting married but for other reasons. I have been wanting to change my last name since I was 19. I was engaged at 21 and was set on changing my last name to my fiancee鈥檚 name, but things didn鈥檛 work out. Still, I would have rather had his name than the name I was given. The last name on my driver鈥檚 license, passport, etc, is not a name that I can identify with, and it is a name that I am unwilling to associate myself with. I was thinking, if I were to get engaged again or married, would I change my last name? After going through the trouble of abandoning an old identity and starting a new identity? I am not sure.
How do you feel about names, both first and last names? How strongly do you identify with your name? Would you ever change your name, and for what reasons?
GWS, how do you feel about changing your name? For marriage or for other reasons?
No big deal. Change it if you hate it. The only trouble is this will follow you around all your life. Certain job applications, credit bureaus, police records etc., will still require you to mention all your legal names, past and present.
Taking a finace's/husband's name can be tricky. The credit bureaus have me and my ex husband mixed up to this day, so be careful. I tried refinancing and they are under the impression I still own a house in Chicago. In reality, my ex owns it, but they somehow never updated that. So, check your credit to make sure it's all up to date. Also, always have a few extra copies of you name change papers. I am about to renew my passport and they want to see the original with the stamp on it. At the divorce, I had my name changed back to my maiden name....
GWS, how do you feel about changing your name? For marriage or for other reasons?
This is a relatively common question but you've asked it in an unusually good way. I have to say that I like my name. I prefer my middle name to my first but I'm pretty happy with all three. I don't have any feelings one way or the other in regards to whether or not I identify with my name. Do what you feel comfortable with, and if in a few years time you want to change it again it'll only cost you the price of some new bits of identification.
I plan on taking my fiances last name next spring when we get married. I agree with you though, I don't identify with my own last name. It is the name of my fathers family who I do not particularily care for. I think I would still change my name regardless though, it's a commitment to the person you love.
I would never change my name again - I'm divorced and took back my maiden name. I think you do lose part of your identity when you change your name. This time, my fiance is secure enough not to care.
I legally changed my first and middle names, for personal and business reasons. I think anyone who wants to, should.... Why the hell not?
I like my name. I was proud of my maiden name - my father is a good man, and I was happy to have his name as mine. I changed my name when I got married - I'm proud to have my husband's name as my own now. I'm glad to be associated with his family. Even if I didn't like them much or they were awful I'd still have taken his name. I'm a fairly traditional person. : )
i used to be all about changing my last name ( its smith you can see why) but now im involved with a guy who is divorced and she kept his last name so it isnt as special to me now. and she is a b****. not just cause she is the ex. my ex remarried and she is nice. anywho i think its just a personal decision i see nothing wrong one way or the other
I would never change my name for marriage or any other reason. Maybe, if my life depended on it, like a witness relocation type thing I would change it. But even then, I'd probably rather face my enemy and slay them. It goes back to royalty and I am quite attached to it.
Now if you want to change your name for any reason, I say go for it.
I am a man. But most women should not be ashmed or afraid to
change their names when getting married. It is all out of love.
I wouldn't change mine for marriage. I don't like my current last name, so I'm planning to change it to my grandmother's maiden name, which is infinitely cooler.
I think if the new last name you've picked is something you really come to identify with, you'll have a harder time deciding if you do ever get married. I'm engaged now, and I'm trying to decide the same thing. I do identify with my current last name, but I identify with his family as well. I'm considering changing my name so my maiden name is my middle name, and then taking his last name, so that I don't give anything up. Also, some people don't realize that if you have kids and they don't have the same last name as you, you'll constantly be made to prove that the children are really yours. So if you get married, have kids, and don't take his last name, then you have to figure out whose name the kids should have, or if you want them to have a hyphenated last name. It gets annoying. That's what I have, and my parents even had trouble enrolling me in elementary school because my last name is not exactly the same as both of theirs.
While my first name isn't the one I would have chosen for myself, I still like it because my parents chose it with the meaning in mind.
I changed my last name when I got married, but I find myself hyphenating it on applications like Myspace and Facebook so that people can still find me online.
The only reason I would change my maiden name would be if it represented something I didn't want to associate myself with. For instance, if it was the name of a father who ran off when I was less than a year old and my mother quickly remarried to a man who raised me as his own; I would change my last name to my step-father's name. I could go on, but you get the point...
Rhapsody, many women already have different last names than their children. The most common example is not a woman who didn't change from her maiden name but one who is divorced and remarried and has a different last name from her children from her previous marriage. The obvious solution would be to have the children change their last names also but that can have bad repercussions. My mother-in-law pressured her children from her first marriage to change their last name when she remarried. She used to tell them that it would be great if all the children in the family had the same last name. She was doing it out of spite because her first marriage had ended bitterly. Her ex-husband was deeply hurt by this because they were the only children he ever had. What was worse was that her new marriage didn't last either. They were divorced after only a few years.
My husband had a hissy fit because I didn't want to change my last name to his. I hyphenated my name to come to a compromise. My son has my last name and my daughter has his. I can still go by my last name if I wanted to. I like my last name and there aren't that many people with that last name. I never wanted to change it at all.
